News

Published on September 13th, 2014 | by Unreality

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NPA News: Season 3, Week 1

Hey, everyone! This week of NPA News is brought to you by Mountain Dew. And also Unreality and Crow.

NPA Draft: It’s Kind of New I Guess

This year marked the first ever NPA Auction Draft. In previous years, NPA employed a Snake Draft, in which players could only draft Snake. Afterwards, since Snake got tired of battling himself, they switched to a Snake Draft format, in which managers picked players in a predetermined order. This was the format for the past two years. Now, in order to give each manager a fair way to fight for each and every player they might want on their rosters, the Auction has been implemented by the Comi$$ioners Duy and Biosci. Each manager had a whopping 90,000 PokeDollars to purchase all of their players with, meaning that the total value of each team is equal to or less than a meal at Restaurant Le Wow — depending on if you’re as popular as NPA Legend and Five-Time All-American-Champion Min Datoo is in Lumiose City.

Stand-Ins: The Backup Dancers of Managers

Along with the first Auction Draft format was the very first appearance of “Stand-Ins”, players who would draft for the managers that could not attend the agreed-upon draft time. Four such players were drafted:

• pookar, to the Fallarbor Flames, for 3000
• Zubat, to the Mistralton Jets for 3000
• Matty to the Sunyshore Chargers for 12000
• Bopper to the Goldenrod Rollouts for 32000

A requirement for the stand-in managers was that they had to play on the team that they drafted for. The first two players, pookar and Zubat, were not put up for auction because they had no notable accomplishments. Matty and Bopper, both high level Worlds finishers at one point or another in their careers, were originally set a price, but then after deliberation were thrown back in the pool and both managers had to bid on themselves. During an interview conducted in Goldenrod’s very empty Hall of Champions, Bopper said: “To be honest, [drafting myself] was a great experience. I’m clearly the best player in NPA therefore I deserve to splurge and possibly ruin the Rollouts due to the fact that I’m just so good.”

The Death of Wildcard

Of the the disappointing aspects of this season is the removal of the wildcard matches. Wildcard matches were some of the most entertaining games of NPA 2 and provided some nice variety compared to the games we had been playing all year. They also had the unique effect of making some of the players who experienced older formats more valuable to managers. When questioned about this decision, NPA co-chairman Biosci had this to say, “I really like the VGC ‘14 format. There’s a lot of good variety in the games. For instance, who doesn’t love seeing Mega Kangaskhan? There’s also Mega Kangourex, that’s French for Mega Kangaskhan, and even sometimes regular Kangaskhan when someone wants to take advantage of Scrappy. I believe this choice will allow for more enjoyment by both the spectators and the competitors alike. Kangaskhan rules!”

Not Just Ash Collectors: A Look Through the Fire in the Flames’ Hearts

The Flames, to everyone’s surprise, drafted a stellar roster under the management of Aryana, known around Nugget Bridge as feathers, who is a site artist, a black market Pokemon merchandise dealer, and a broccoli enthusiast. Of course, she had a little bit of help from her stand-in drafter, pookar. The Flames are hot off their Week 1 victory against the reigning champions, the Seafoam Islanders. Whether they’ll be able to maintain their momentum throughout the rest of the season remains to be seen. Here with us today at the Route 113 Glass Workshop and Broccoli Garden is feathers herself.

NPA News: Good morning, feathers. Afternoon. Night. Whatever time zone Canada’s in. How do you feel about how Week 1 went?
Aryana: Fantastic! What a hot start to what will hopefully be eight weeks of the Flames burning up the competition. Giving the Islanders their first (of many) losses this season was a great feeling, even though fellow Canadian R Inanimate happens to be on their team. You win some, you lose some.

NPA News: What was your reaction when you could not draft fellow Canadians R Inanimate and skarm?
Aryana: While I would have loved to be able to afford R inanimate, spending half of my budget on him was not part of the plan. pookar adjusted accordingly. As for skarm… I’m not even sure his manager knew what province he was in during Week 1. Personally, I think it might be a mistake to put skarm on any team besides mine.

NPA News: Did you feel comfortable handing the reins of your team off to “The Dark Horse” “CHRISTOPHER SEMP” pookar during the draft?
Aryana: Absolutely! pookar was pretty excited at the prospect of being able to draft, so I was more than happy to trust him with it. He has plenty of experience with fantasy drafts and had a gameplan very quickly after I offered him the opportunity. He picked a fantastic team, and even though we don’t have a sub, my team is 100% active so I’m not worried about needing anyone else.

NPA News: Be honest: how bad does pookar (who should really be heading home by now) smell?
Aryana: He smells like a dark horse. ON FIRE.

NPA News: Any particularly tough opponents in the weeks ahead?
Aryana: We play the Chargers in Week 5, and they look like they could be a challenge. There are some great players in their lineup, but I truly believe the Flames burn brighter. I may have done some business with Chargers manager PrettyLittleLiar in DC… but that isn’t important, right?

NPA News: Do you think your team has what it takes to reach the finals?
Aryana: Without a doubt. We have a strong team mentality and I am positive that we can make the finals if we work together. The Flames are no pushovers, and I’m sure we’ve shown just how threatening we can be with our first week victory. If everything goes according to plan, the other teams will be going the way of the air nomads when we’re finished with them. CUE FIRE NATION NATIONAL ANTHEM

NPA News: Any final statements?
Aryana: skarm sucks.

We here at NPA News both condone and affirm the statement that skarm indeed sucks.

The Birds and the Bees: Unfortunate Matchup Name or Scandal in the Making?

Concerned Fortree moms have started protesting the Brave Birds’ game with the Viridian Forest Hornets. The game has been locally dubbed “The Birds and the Bees” and there are some mothers out there concerned with what that undertones. “We are concerned that this game is encouraging the wrong activities. If sports teams do not set good examples for our children, who will?”, stated one mother who wished to remain anonymous. We talked with managers Zach and Dubs for their opinion on the matter. “We both think this is absolutely ridiculous,” said Dubs. Zach added “I’m ashamed this is coming from my city. We have two teams here with players who work hard to provide quality entertainment and these protesters are attacking them because they don’t like how the team names look next to each other? I cannot believe it.” The protests have not impacted ticket sales.

45K For Shuckle: The Inside Scoop

Before the NPA3 draft, only one question was on every manager’s mind: Will I be the one to draft Sejun Park, 2014 Pokemon World Champion? After the draft, only one manager had the answer: Yes. Yes I will. NPA News is here today at the Ever Grande Caviar Bar with manager Dim aka Toler Webb, a World Champion himself. The Ever Grande Elite have started their season with a mediocre week, going 3-3 vs the Lilycove Cruisers. Sipping from his 200-dollar glass of Whisc-ey, Toler kicks back in his custom-ordered Liepard-fur armchair and gives me the scoop behind his decision to pick one of the most famous players ever drafted – if not the most famous player – in the NPA.

NPA News: Toler, how do you feel about your team’s Week 1 performance?
Toler: While I certainly expected more, as I always intend to do with a team like the Elite, I’m fairly pleased with it. There were situations with certain players in final game scenarios where I can’t really blame them entirely for their loss, but overall, it was a decent first week and it set a good tone for the rest of the year. I’ve observed a strong sense of kinship and team pride developing within the team which can help me do my job to motivate players to play and try to win. While certain members of the team have a lot to prove and others don’t, it’s been good to see the entire team interacting and congratulating each other for effort.

NPA News: What was your strategy when bidding on Sejun?
Toler: My strategy actually revolved around pushing players up in the auction. I was focused on knocking other managers around to get in their head and punish them for their set rosters of players. While I didn’t desperately want Sejun (and truthfully, I didn’t believe I would get him) he was certainly on my list and I saw it to be a pretty safe bet to try to push the opposing managers up on him. The later players were the ones I had planned out more so I could focus on having a planned set of people I could try to pick up for cheap prices in case I accidentally dropped half my budget on one player.

NPA News: Did you know Sejun would bring his Shuckle during Week 1?
Toler: Ah! The question I was expecting to see! While other managers have used that particular terminology to trash talk me about the decision, I don’t really mind Sejun bringing his Shuckle or not. I obviously had no idea, but I imagined that if he played and lost he would be motivated to win in the next round because of the type of player he is. So, regardless of what he did Week 1, I’m just going to do the most logical and least panic-based thing I can do and assume he’ll be winning all later rounds. It’s also important to note that the Shuckle team was not actually as gimmicky as it might sound from hearing the word “Shuckle”.

NPA News: How do you feel Sejun will perform in the rest of the season?
Toler: As acknowledged earlier, I expect him to do fairly well. I’m expecting him to finish at least even and it’s more likely that he’ll finish with a positive record. He’s very self-motivated. Aside from that, as a manager, if I focus on the situation where he loses every single week because he doesn’t use serious stuff, I throw myself on tilt as a manager and lose faith in my team. When a manager loses faith in the team, that’s communicated to them and sometimes they question themselves. As far as I can see, this team has nothing to fear. We are strong as a unit as well as strong individually.

NPA News: What are your plans for bringing home the gold to the big city?
Toler: Tell my team to win, have them do it. We’re the elite. We’re already better than everyone else, we just have to try.

NPA News: What words do you have for Ever Grande Elite fans at home?
Toler: Ever Grande Elite fans at home should remember to dream big. In fact, they should always dream big because even the biggest dreams can’t contain the future of this team. Ever Big. Ever Grande. Ever Grande Elite.
Toler: (By the way, if Tan asks, we always order Grande sized drinks)

NPA News: Any closing remarks?
Toler: None, just that we’re better than our first week would imply. I blame hax, and only hax.

The Splashes, Arkansas, and One Big Chance: A Heartwarming Tale

Before the draft, NPA3 manager Len Deuel (commonly referred to as Alaka) was conducting an important private press meeting at NPA News Headquarters. Nonchalantly, he mentioned an aspect of his draft strategy to us here at NPA News: draft one of his Twitter followers at random. A stunned silence fell across the conference room as everyone replayed in their head what they just heard. And then, cheers. Applause. Len, out of the goodness in his heart, was giving one lucky kid the experience of a lifetime: to play in the NPA alongside all of their heroes. It was just a matter of time before we saw whose name would soon grace the screens of every home across the world.

The sixth round of the draft approached, and tension was high. They had neared the final stretch. BlitznBurst went for 5000 dollars to the Goldenrod Rollouts. And then it was time. As Len reached for the microphone, hopeful fans crossed their fingers and ducked their heads, praying. And then Len’s voice rang throughout the arena:
[2014-08-29 22:04:08] I’d like to announce the winner of twitter giveaway: @JRankJustJRank
[2014-08-29 22:04:16] congrats
[2014-08-29 22:04:19] and welcome to the npa
[2014-08-29 22:04:25] !nominate JRank
[2014-08-29 22:04:26] JRank is up for auction.

JRank. A young kid from the streets of Podunk, Arkansas had been called up to the big leagues. Instantly, a bidding war started. The other managers thought that Len had seen something that they didn’t. And Len had– he saw the pure, raw talent of a boy hungry for victory and redemption. JRank went to the Hearthome Holy Spirits, under the management of Ray. Len, unfortunately, didn’t have enough credits to land JRank a spot on his own roster. But his kind gesture sets an example for all of us here at home– with a huge heart, a helping hand, and a little bit of luck, anyone’s NPA dreams can come true. Even if they’re from Arkansas.

There’s not much left to say here. JRank is happily in the NPA on the Holy Spirits, which he led to a 4-2 victory over the Mistralton Jets with his win over countkroeterich. Even though the season is young, and JRank is even younger, he shows promise.

Got a Hot Scoop?

Do you have the next big scoop? Feel free to tweet @NPANews or message either Unreality or Crow on Nugget Bridge. We’re always on the hunt for big stories!

About the Author

Unreality Hi! I'm Aaron "Unreality" Traylor and I love short walks on the beach and making lots and lots of friends. Following mild success in the Seniors division in 2011, I quickly lost all steam upon entering Masters and have done slightly well since. Now I am a moderator on Nugget Bridge! Hooray!

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